GUEST POST: Don’t Go In There! by Landon Stahmer

IF YOU’VE ever seen a horror movie (of course you have), I’m sure you are familiar with this scene. Our too-old-to-be-a-high-school-student hero, finds themselves in a dangerous situation. Then they hear it. A creepy, inhuman sound coming from behind a closed door. Surely, they are too smart and socially savvy to follow the sound, right? Nope, it’s a horror movie. They just gotta go see what all the hubbub is about.

And the all too wise audience yells, “DON’T GO IN THERE!!!”

I know, I know. It’s fun to yell at a person on a screen that can’t hear you or take your advice, but this is my blog post so I am going to ruin it for you. I’m sorry.

Perhaps the reason this cliché is so repetitive in horror movies and never ceases to frustrate us is because it’s probably really hard to watch ourselves on screen.

During a family camping trip when I was five or six, my dad built a fire in a large iron fire pit. “Stay away from the fire, Landon”, my dad said. Guess what? I did. Wait, no I didn’t. I put my little grubby paws on that hot metal as fast as I could and burned my mits!

As I got older, I burned myself in different ways. I dated people who weren’t good for me, picked up bad habits, and even went out for track and field. Any intelligent human looking in on my life would’ve yelled at me, “DON’T!” But I did it anyway and fortunately there wasn’t a monster on the other side of the door. But there was failure… I’m not built for sports.

I’m betting that you could look back and see many doors you probably shouldn’t have entered. The warning signs were clear and people around you were definitely screaming in their minds, “WHAT ARE YOU DOING?!” But you survived, and hopefully are a better person because of it.

So next time you are at the theater watching a creepy feature and the main character willingly enters danger, think before you react. If you hear someone yell, “I HOPE YOU SURVIVE AND LEARN FROM THIS EXPERIENCE AND GROW AS A HUMAN BEING!” I’m probably behind you, ruining the fun for everyone.

Check out our interview with Landon here:

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